Love Letter

Speaking of serendipity, I had read Glennon’s blog about Dr. Brene Brown, and her work on vulnerability, shame and self worth.  I clicked on the links and watched Dr. Brown’s TED Talk videos and was mesmerized.  I loved them!  During this same time, I met a beautiful, young 21 year old woman who is struggling greatly right now - greatly.  It made me want to write a letter to her, saying hang in there.  I wanted to share some of Brene’s messages and ideas, as well as my own - to say it will get better.  On top of all of that it happens to be Thanksgiving today.  So, in an effort to offer my thanks, and share my thoughts I write this post - this love letter.  

This letter is to Tanya.  It’s also to all of those vulnerable souls who think that life is just too hard, to all of us (including myself) who need a pep talk, and to my kids too - of all the things I want you to know, of all the lessons I may teach you, I hope and pray I make this one clear.  

Life can be incredibly hard and it can suck!  Sometimes it just sucks the breath right out of you.  And sometimes it seems so dark and so hard, like it will never, ever get better.  It may seem like there is no way out.  BUT here’s the thing - there is ALWAYS a way out.  There is always a door or a window.  It just might be too dark for you to see it, but it’s there.  Sometimes you need to ride out the darkness, like riding out a storm - there will be an end to it, a dawn.  And that dark room you find yourself in, is also full of other people - people who love you.  They love you because you are you.  For no other reason.  It may not feel like it now, you may not realize they are there, but it’s true.  Please wait it out.  Don’t give up.

As much as life can be hard, it can also be beautiful.  For every dark night, there is a brilliant dawn.  And for every devastating storm, there is a majestic sky or a perfect rainbow.  For every self centered, nasty person you meet, there is an amazingly generous and kind one.  I know this sounds so cliche and easy.  But there is such truth to it - to the Yin-Yang of life.  And it is in those moments where a total stranger will perform some random act of kindness - like paying the toll for the person behind them, or driving supplies to NY and NJ to people who lost everything in the hurricane - those things make it all worth while.  Those moments of love, kindness and beauty make it worth the struggle and the hardship.  You have to know it will get better.

And know this too - we have ALL had those moments of hating life.  Of wanting to give up, or get out.  You are not alone.  I haven’t met one person who hasn’t felt overwhelmed at times, and sad, depressed, angry and so, so tired of it all.  Who hasn’t had a time when they woke up and felt that hundred pound weight on their chest, so heavy it hurt to breathe?  We struggle, but we push through, even when we don’t know how - or why.  You can do it.   You will come out the other side.  One day you will look back and say, “Thank God.  Thank God I didn’t give up altogether.  I am so happy that I am still here.”  

Here is another truth: You have many, many amazing moments ahead of you.  There are so many MORE people out there waiting to meet you, and to love you.  You have new friends to make - friends you may not meet for another ten years, but they will be there.  You are just at the starting gates of your life and learning what you can accomplish.  You have the capacity to move mountains, you just need to learn your own self worth.  The more you experience, the more you struggle through these trying times, the more you will come to realize you are strong.  The more you experience, the more you will come to trust yourself ... and things will get easier.  

Okay, but here’s the biggest truth of all: you don’t need to be perfect.  You don’t need to do it all.  You can stumble and fall and fail, and you will still be a beautiful person.  People will love you even more when they realize how human you are.  Showing your vulnerability makes you stronger!  (That is a tough one for me, but it’s true!)  Allowing yourself to be vulnerable allows for you to connect to other people.  You deserve love and light and all things good - not because of something you have done to deserve it, but because you are worth it.  Just YOU.  You are enough.  You always have been and always will be.  It’s not straight A’s that make you worthy, its not being captain of the football team, or the number of goals scored in soccer or the clothes you wear, it’s not that scholarship or that job or the group of friends or the perfect house - it’s the YOU on the inside.  

One last quote from Brene Brown, “You are imperfect, and you’re wired to struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”  You are worthy.  Please remember that - all of you fragile souls and all of you sturdy souls, young or old.  You are worthy, you are enough.  Keep pushing through.  I for one, am very thankful that you are here.