“Life is change,
Growth is optional.
Choose wisely.”
My friend Tara told me this yesterday. I love it! I love it for many reasons - this is mainly the path I have been on in my “Life”. What can I learn from this? How is this experience helping me to be a stronger person, a better person, a more patient person? Of course I was thinking more along the lines of “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” - but this sounds so much more positive, doesn’t it?
One of the things that I have been working on lately - a personal goal, is learning to let go of whatever the current situation is. I don’t have to fix it, I don’t have to change it or know the outcome. I just have to remember that whatever is in front of me will eventually change. Life is change.
Forever I have fought with myself over EVERYTHING! When I’m feeling down, I want to know why, what can I do to feel better, what am I NOT doing, what should I do differently? When I’m feeling great, I often feel guilty, and that I ought to contain it, lest I look like I’m bragging. What have I done to deserve this? Nothing - I don’t! Around and around I would go. I never could get a good hold on any situation - like a slippery fish, it was always sliding away from me.
However, something shifted for me. Somehow (with guidance from my girl Tara), I gave in to this notion that everything changes. I stopped feeling depressed about feeling down. I stopped fighting it and willing it away. I decided to just let it be and KNOW that eventually - soon even - it would shift on its own. Nothing is permanent - right?
What amazed me during the process, was that instead of putting all this wasted energy into when would I feel better, I just embraced whatever was in front of me. I lived in the moment. Dinner with three cranky kids? Okay. Having an angry parent blast me for the popsicle choice at a school PTO function? Okay. All I want to do is crash on the couch with a movie? Okay. I just said okay to whatever came my way. And none of it was as bad (or guilt ridden) as I normally would have expected it to be. There were even several funny moments in there. There was room for laughter when it wasn’t all filled up with fighting.
Finally, finally, finally I understood what Eckhart Tolle was talking about in "A New Earth", about being “present” and not attaching to your situation! The more I loosened my grip on my current state of mind, the more it shifted. Not instantaneously, it didn’t happen in a day. But before I knew it, I was in this incredibly positive place. A peaceful place. Content, grateful, happy! Thankfully I am still here. I am riding this wave, knowing eventually it will flow into something else. But having now experienced the letting go, I feel so much more confident and comfortable with the process.
I’m writing this blog today not only because it may help someone else out there who is going through a tough time, but also to remind myself the next time it comes up for me; everything shifts - energy moves and flows. Allow it to. Keep those circuits open. Know it is okay to be ‘here’ - wherever here may be. Just take it all in - like sights on a train. Before you know it, you’ll be in a totally new and different place - one stop closer to your ultimate destination. I wish you all happy travels!
