Wonderful Words

Words are funny things.  They can range from beautiful and lyrical to ugly and crass - evoking every emotion imaginable.  

I definitely have a few favorites.  Bizarre is one.  I love the unusual-ness of it.  Zest is another.  

Okay fine, here is my whole list of favorites:

Whimsical

Whisper

Dream

Linger

Frilly

Flurry

Sassy

Swirl

Divine

Believe

Luscious

Truffle

Potion

Papaya

Raindrop

Seahorse

Dragonfly

Moondance

Bougainvillea   I love to say that word - Bougainvillea!

What’s on your list?  

RULES

Rules.  Don’t you get irritated at the mere word ‘rules’?  It just gives off a bad vibe.  I’m not sure why though; rules in general are a good thing.

There are the rules (aka - laws) that are meant to protect us, that speak to our morality.  No killing, no stealing, no damaging other people’s property.  ‘Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife.’  And so on.  These are all obvious no-no’s (to most of us anyway!)  These can’t be broken, shouldn’t be broken.  Hopefully you’ll be caught if you did break them!

Next come the second tier rules.  I call these the Common Curtesy Set; such as the “Golden Rule”: Treat others as you would like to be treated.  Say please and thank you, hold the door, give up your seat to the elderly, tell the truth, look people in the eye, help those in need, be generous, be considerate.  Sadly these can be, and often are broken.  They can not be enforced, nor are they taught nearly well enough.  In my opinion, if we all could live by these rules, no others would even be necessary.  Just think, if we applied common curtesy to driving - there would be no road rage because people would kindly move out of the left lane and let others pass them (this seems to be enormously difficult for the American population!)  Speed limits would hardly be necessary because your concern for your others would stop you from driving 60 miles per hour down residential streets and past schools.  Ah, if only…

Then we come to all the “other” rules: the ones that fall into a grey area, the ones that tempt you - if not beg you, to break them.  The rules that were put in place by someone who was a little too rule happy.  These are the rules that bring out your normally well-hidden, rebellious nature.  For example, highway speed limits (not at all the same as the in-town speed limits referred to above!), no chewing gum in school, no running in the hallways, no walking on the grass.  Jay-walking.  Most rules of the english grammar language!!!!  Many of these are related to particular places and establishments.  Like  no throwing snowballs into the snow covered field during recess at my children’s elementary school.  Or no walking your first grade child to his classroom after the first week of school.  It just makes you want to break them out of sheer principle! 

Breaking the rules is not always a bad thing.  Just think, where would rock music be today if the Beatles and Elvis didn’t break the rules?  Where would art be without the impressionists who broke all art conventions of the time - Monet, Renoir, Degas and so on.  Then there are the political rule breakers who helped to change history: Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela.  If it weren’t for people who were willing to say, “These rules are not fair,” we would live in a very different world.  Breaking the rules becomes necessary at times.

In the end it all comes down to this very simple rule your mother taught you years ago: just be nice!  Be a good, kind person - the type who is concerned for the safety and well being of others.  Then maybe society wouldn’t require so many rules.  And we wouldn’t feel the need to break them all the time!

BALANCE Part II: YOUR SPIRIT

Over dinner with a friend, we hit upon the subject of personal balance, aka spiritual alignment.  I’m not speaking of religious spirituality, but of nurturing your own soul.  My friend, spoke of feeling impatient with her kids, not motivated, tired, uninspired by work - she felt the cause of all this was “getting old”.  When I asked her what she had done for herself lately, she replied, “...Cook dinner?”  I promptly reprimanded that cooking dinner was NOT something you do for yourself!  That is a requirement, an obligation - for some of us even a drudgery!  The end result was that she could not name one thing. 

Over the last several years I have come to learn how important it is to find time for myself.  No one else will make the time for me - hand me an hour or two on a silver platter and say, “Here - enjoy!”  I must carve it out of my own schedule.  

In order to carve time - I needed to figure out two things.  First I had to learn the signs that my reserves were running low - and I was in need of recharging.  Second, I had to figure out what types of things recharge me.  That may sound simple, but it was and continues to be an evolutionary process.  Checking in with myself, and how I am feeling  has become a daily task.  Whenever I find myself feeling irritable or depleted I run through a mental checklist: Have I worked out?  Have I been writing?  Do I need some solitude?

I saved an article from Traditional Home magazine, from September 2009 titled, “20 Ways Barbara [Barry] Nurtures Her Spirit.”  Barbara Barry’s list struck a cord with me - there are so many items on there that nurture my spirit as well.  Now I make a point to notice these things and include them as often as possible in my day, my week, my month.  Preventative medicine!  

Here are a few of my favorites from Barbara’s list:

“LIGHT   It is everything!  It illuminates a space and lifts my spirit.”

“SOLITUDE  It’s probably the most vital thing that restores my spirit.  I don’t watch television or listen to much music.  I like silence… in fact,  I require it.

“NEW BEGINNINGS  The minute I get a new project I feel that sense of excitement and play.  It’s my favorite moment in the project because it’s filled with potential.”

“HOME  My home is my haven, and it’s a testament to my work - fresh and clean and calm.”

Okay - so my home is not always clean or calm, but  it is my haven.  It brings me peace.  And as much as I love music - I love silence more.

Here are some of my own:

CREATING - Whether its writing, journaling, painting, designing or coloring with the kids.  It excites me, connects me - completes me.  I get cranky when I haven’t done it!

MUSIC - I love listening to music - the lyrics often have meaning to me - and it gets my creative juices flowing.

WALKS/WORKING OUT - This ties into solitude and music for me - I love having the time to myself and my thoughts.  (Which is probably why I don't like gyms)  It gets the energy moving; helps rid old/negative energy.

FRESH FLOWERS - Their color, their smell, their beauty.  Flowers make me happy.  And why wait for someone to send flowers when I can buy a bunch of sunny tulips from Stop and Shop for less than $10?

MOVIES/BOOKS - I love to be swept away - carried into a story.  Escape.  I am especially sappy for romances!  Movies appeal to my visual side, but books have the benefit of lasting longer.

EATING WELL - This is not a very exciting one, but I definitely feel good inside and out when I have had a healthy meal.

MASSAGE/ BODY TREATMENTS - I love the physical contact, the soothing environment, the lighting, the aromatherapy.  It appeals to all my senses and more importantly works out my knots and kinks before they turn into bigger issues.  I feel cared for.

CLEANLINESS - I get almost giddy when my house is clean and tidy.  The same goes for my body.  The laundry.  My kids.  The yard.  I like when things are squeaky clean and smelling fresh!  ( To the best of my knowledge I do not have OCD!)

There are so many ways to take care of YOU- yoga, running, afternoon tea, vision boards.  How do you stay balanced and nourish your spirit?  What brings you peace?  Joy?  Relieves your stress?  How do you manage to keep on top of it before life gets out of hand.  

I am reminded of the L’Oreal slogan - “Because I’m worth it!”  I think that is a mantra we all should adopt.  Whenever you wonder if you should splurge on that massage or take the time to go to Yoga, just say, “Yes!” and repeat, “Because I’m worth it!”  You are!

Link to Barbara Barry Article:

http://www.traditionalhome.com/design_decorating/bodyandsoul/barbara-barry_ss8.html